I embarked on my PhD research into a Christian theology of singleness back at the beginning of 2016. If I was beginning my PhD studies now, in 2023, I’d be entering into a very different landscape. There have been so many changes to the Christian singleness conversation across the last five to six years in particular. I’ve watched them unfold in front of my eyes.

Some of those changes have been ones I’ve delighted in. Even just the fact that we now seem willing to actually talk more openly and frequently about singleness is a massive win. That’s something that really has changed over the last half a dozen years or so.

The tenor of that conversation has also changed in some wonderful ways. Not only is the church talking more about singleness, but we’re talking more positively about singleness than we have for, well, hundreds of years. Another massive win.

Even more, there are voices entering into and even guiding the conversation about Christian singleness who, until fairly recently, have not been welcome to have a seat at the table. When singleness has been spoken about in recent centuries, it has mainly been married men – pastors in particular – who have been doing almost all the talking. But now, ordinary, everyday single Christians from a variety of circumstances and contexts are taking part in the conversation.  Indeed, the conversation is no longer one primarily about us. More and more, it is becoming one with us.

There have been lots of things to delight in about how the conversation about singleness has been changing. But—you knew it was coming, right?—in my view, the change in the conversation about Christian singleness hasn’t been entirely constructive.

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